imheck:

um waitress?? i ordered cocaine but all i got was this soft drink?? ?

(Source: morbidding)

blackromney:

walking in a crowded hallway like

image

(Source: baara)

raviavi:

Career goal: Puppy Bowl referee.
image

(Source: rhinosarahs)

piewinchesters:

The problem with Les Miserables is you can say it wrong and sound like a douche or you can say it right and sound like a douche

(Source: evgeniemalkin)

averagefairy:

why do they even include 2014 as an option when selecting your birth year online like u fresh out the womb ready to join gmail

iwouldsellmysisterssoulfor1d:

SOMEONE TEXTED ME WITH THE WRONG NUMBER AND I PLAYED ALONG I’M GOING TO HELL I KNOW IT

kodmaeda:

rainy weather and thunder doesn’t make me gloomy at all it’s more like, fuck yeah this is my kingdom of darkness and i’m the queen

(Source: kahzmiller)